For the next month, my painting, “Gilded Growth”, will be hanging at Kennedy Gallery in Sacramento. This has given me the opportunity to examine the piece and put into words some of the significance that has been slowly emerging from it’s existence. This painting is rooted in my faith; the mystery and workings of Jesus as He leads me through these valleys and mountains and all the in-betweens.
I am seeing more and more, with each new painting, that the true meaning imbedded within canvas is often totally unseen in the beginning. Some have taken years after the last stoke to show their deepest, fullest interpretations. With that said, this explanation is but the beginning musings and flashes of insight that I am currently gleaning from “Gilded Growth”.
This painting was one of those which came to my mind's eye in a brief moment, and then, within the day, was sketched and started. This is fairly uncommon for me, as I often take some time to digest the initial vision and allow it to grow beyond those vague beginnings. “Gilded Growth” was visualized and completed during my artist residency at Grunewald Guild last autumn. Since that time, I have begun to see bits and pieces of meaning slowly emerge. It started as a fairly straightforward visualization of Matthew 13, "The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree,so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches." Upon reading this passage, I experienced a quick burst of vision; seeing my heart surrounded and watered by the promise and presence (rainbow) as mustard (faith) grew steady and strong in an upwards pursuit of light.
The layers of meaning have continued to grow into a deeper place, far beyond the initial fertile heart image. A few months back, I began to see that the heart, my heart, was being poured into with molten gold, filling every unique crevasse with beautiful, yet excruciating permanence. The gilded veins of life coming from flesh are but a natural outflow of a source within. I began to sense a bittersweetness about this painting. Growth oftentimes sprouts through pain, discomfort, & utter loneliness. In the last monthsI have experienced that echoing silence, slow refinement, and the strange grief of growth and change that is portrayed in various ways through my painting. Jesus himself suffered complete and desolate separation and pain, “for the joy that was set before him” (Hebrews 12). The beauty of gold is brought about through fire.
I cannot help but also reflect on that encircling bow, which is only seen by light, and it’s engagement with the deepest star-lit night, which is only seen by utter darkness. Perhaps it correlates to the fresh vision, life, and strength that can be born in desert seasons of loneliness and separation from all sources of comfort? “Gilded Growth” contains a certain sensation of solitude. The workings, stretching, and deepening of my soul, and yours, are done within a reverberating wilderness of solitude. Alone with it’s potter & friend, author & finisher.
It's funny now, but I was quite dissatisfied with this painting during my artist residency. It felt strange and forced, and I found it hard to explain the connections and choices that were contained within the canvas. Much of the process of painting was sensing a design here, a line there, and tweaking color over and over again. I believed that many of the unconscious decisions within my process contain important meaning. Lines and strokes fall like the planting of seeds, holding life within them, waiting for the moment to fully show their true identity. In the last year or so I have been moving in the direction of learning to flow as I create; trusting the process and allowing a design to form from deep intuition, without needing to explain or understand. I like to ask the Holy Spirit to breathe and move with me in this process; allowing those streams deep within to dance as they pour out into the light. Symbolism begins to flow and I need not try to explain or defend it. How very freeing that is! Art is truly such a living thing; growing, changing, and sparking fresh insight and experience with every new set of onlooking eyes. This creating process feels as though I am joining with the song of the universe, engaging with the rhythm of the wonders of God. He is full of mystery and depth, yet I get to experience Him, know Him, and rest in who He is in this very moment of reality.
Well, there you are. This is the extent of my current interpretation. I have no doubt that this piece, like all the others, will be continually sprouting new things.
What are your interpretations of "Gilded Growth"?
Did you have an initial reaction to the piece before reading my commentary?
Are there any symbols or aspects of the piece that you gravitate toward?
Basically, I just love to hear feedback about my work!
Also, thank you for sticking around long enough to have read through all the above. Explaining art can be difficult and a bit messy. I am grateful to any brave soul that ventures to walk this strange and winding road with me.